5 days more until my last day working in this company.

What my feeling?? i also dun know...just wish i can get a better offer from others company.Sure feel a bit sad cause i had work at this company more then 1 year and the company going to be close down,why so bad luck of them???even myself why i choose this company???I think is testing by god.

Hope we can get better offer after out from this company but for all those Indonesian they are ok cause can go back their hometown work at their HQ.Just two of us Malaysian....haizzzzzzzz

Anywhere thanks to all my colleague although sometime angry to all of Ur working style but we still happy working together.....

One in a year refer at Lunar calendar 5th May is an another traditional day for chines we eat the "zhong zi" .
As usual my mom have make for us, i like my mom make it for us because is really delicious but i never learn before just saw she cook all the thing and put in special leaf.Sorry mom! really dun know how to help her, but i think is time for me to learn also, mom is getting old how many time she can make for us, feel myself really luckily still can eat mom "zhong zi", in my future my child can eat their mom " zhong zi" ?? if i learn maybe can if not...so sorry.....
Now of this youngest child a lot of them already forgot all the traditional date & reason for what we eat all those special food, why ?? we never learn from school bout the history?? Yes we have study but we find out and learn from the history. Hope our child will know the special of the food and the traditional date is memories of what history.

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Now of this feeling no really good cause of going to lost my job soon and haven found a good job yet,i feel myself no confident anymore.

But is luckily that beside myself have a lot friends give me support & care of me, listen to me so that i will no so sad in between i still looking for job.

One of my friend told me that: "Think positively and believe that there is a reason behind for everything happen to us everyday." after i read this message i feel my heart is cool down .I'm agreed that is really a reason why we face all those thing and let us to solve it our self, i think god is testing us!
Thanks to my friends all giving me a very good emotion support.

I will let my self think more positively.

Today before go back home, my superior told me that he need to terminate us cause the company really cannot continue and government still not approval our licence.

And he give me two condition one is i left this month and get another month compensation and another is work till July but no any compensation.So what should i choose? Of course i will choose the 1st since in the company we cannot do anything more and if they ask us go early and with paid one month compensation means i got one month time to looking and interview for job if any company hire me so i can start work immediately.

Is very sad thats finally we have to go, one years plus in this company feel sad to leave form this company but what to do time have to go, life have to go.

Hope so we all good in future!

Yes i going lost my job soon...This few week really unhappy because of my superior ask me to get ready to find a new job due they really need to close down this company because of government still cannot approval their licence to start our production since from year 2006 till now.(Even he says they are still trying but he know is imposible!)
Yes i have try to apply and interview some job but all not suitable to me and no good news too.I really scare to go into a PIRATES BOAT again!!

So sad to says i have to go soon and haven found a job, and yet my current company no feel want to give us compesation just ask me faster get a new job, what he think find a new job so easy??? we need to choose a suitable job, need find a suitable location and these is not easy at this time and yet he says he try to help me??? hahaha what he can help ?he not a Malaysian, what he think that when he can go back Indonesia only!!

God please help me faster can get a good company and job to me,if no work means no incomes. What can i do ?? yes i very hardworking to looking for job!!!

Congratulation to my friend had born a baby boy at April but we just visit her yesterday night . Yah cause everybody are busy with their work, till yesterday only we have time to visit her & baby, the baby just look at us sometime smiling with us, so cute!
And the new mummy tell us all those give birth story and how to care of the baby.The time we know that from pregnant till give birth such a very happy, pain and tired and how hard our mom to take care of us when we are baby .My friend says she now more love her mom and tell us must be good to our mom after she becomes a mummy cause is it really hard to be a mother.hahaha but is really scaring me when she tell me the time she give birth.......i still thinking that i can be a good mother or not if my turn?? hahaha dun know when is my turn yet......
Wish all mother very happy with their child :)

This is my new hamster which my hubby bough to me 2 weeks ago..we buy two female hamster..they are so cute when see me around they will jump here jump there to make my attention to them, give them eat and like me play with them.
sometime really tired after work but when reach home see the hamsters I been very happy can play with them, this is one of my hobbit and realise my tension..

Yesterday night when go back from my mom house to my house just sit inside the car, suddenly I cry, I was in tears inside car while I driving on the road.

I dun know why my heart so pain so toughing something in my mind. I think a lot, I crying non stop! Why?? The 15 min driving can get almost 1/2hrs only reach home.

I feel like why I in this world? Thinking same as my friends, actually when she ask this question, I ask before also , why i born in this world ? why I must face so many thing? why only child in this family? is it i do a lot bad thing in my previous life? i debt to them? hahaha

I give so many problems to my parents, I argued with them, I make then sad, I cannot make them happy & relax life, I make a lot people dun like at me.

Study so many years, now getting old and yet married also but myself still cannot face those problem, I lazy, I tired no more active in others things. I not a good daughter for my parents, I’m not good wife for my hubby, not a good friend to my friends. I try to work hard but I cannot then I give up, I cannot talk much with parents, I cannot give them so much money I cannot give them live in a good life. My father’s almost 70yrs old but still have to take 3 way bus go to KL for work, I see him so tired so pity I feel myself no use why I working so many years I still cannot let my father have a relax life , let my parents go for travel ? I feel sad when see my old father so tired I so pain in my heart and no face to talk to my parents too and yet really hard to talk with them, and yet my father is a really old Hainan china man very stubborn and easy get angry always get angry if something happen (these why I also the same ) scold people scold mother scold ……… and says nonsense and yet I can feel they look like feel will getting lost this daughter after married, but not! I still go back home everyday even Sunday I also go back to home bring mom go wet market just maybe I no like last time bring my mom go out shopping in frequent, I just very tired even myself I really lazy to go out.I know ,when they talk something in front of me the sound no happy at all, says something really make me heart pain, feel heartbroken !

Sometimes really tired or promise friends to go out at night and of course cannot go back my parents’ house, I can feel she not happy,(these why I lost my friends contact to go out at night ) and how should I do? I really tired go back there then at night came back my house even just a 15 min driving but I really tired and feel dangerous go back alone at night. Sometimes really think rather I not married so I have more energy and time to them.

I really tired to face two family, one my parents one my hubby both I need to care for them and yet luckily I dun have children if not I will more tired! I tired with my life , even now my work no more tension as last time but who know next year I be busy cause I know I need handle a lot thing in future.

I so heart pain when see my parents, feel myself really no use! I dun know till when I can stand here, I scared one day if my parents got anything happen since they so old already, I scared I cannot handle I scared I no enough money to cover all expenses come to, I scared I will get more argument with them make them more sad to me, I know my parents really sad to me cause I cannot be a good daughter and I really easy angry this few years, I dun know how? I dun know how to face those problem I really scared to face it for my future. A lot thing I rather no to think not to do but I must face it also! i feel heartache (seksaan jiwa)

Anywhere i feel sorry and thanks to them, and i know actually i lucky cause i still have parents i still can have my life compare to who no house no parents !

Today my friend told me bout married and takes pre-wedding photo; make me think back myself last year married preparation and wedding day.

These is very tired year for me cause I still working at my ex-company so busy in office no time make any preparation. Think back the time I busy till a lot thing I never do and no help much to my mom for my wedding. Ur know lah chiness old style people everything also want but dun know how, and yet I’m only child in family nobody can help me.

From pre-wedding photo, wedding date, wedding meeting, dinner location, make up , room decoration plus this plus that a lot of other’s things really make me angry and tired on that time. The time really feel dun want married because so trouble but already book and inform everybody really cannot stop it only!

Finally my pre-wedding photo done and quite ok for myself (what to think cheap price cannot comment so much).This is important when we take pre-wedding photo look us more slim these why I happy to see my photo.

Then preparation for furniture , our new room decoration everything buy this buy that, argument with family and hubby make me so tired ! Finally done also, thanks god .

Almost is the time for wedding I still haven get the people for makeup on dinner and wedding day, so ask my friends to introduce , finally I get one and I didn’t ask so much and yet I also dun know and how to ask, just think that got people help me I no need to find another and think they should professional for that so many experience.

Finally wedding dinner is coming, and enjoy with all my family and friends together just a liter upset that my makeup and hair style look no nice, I dun know why the time I no complain maybe I just think normal and yet I very tired too (cause before dinner I still work very late) really hope so faster over the dinner, when now I see back my dinner album I feel sad and feel if I can go back on that time, I must dun want the style.

The more sad thing is my married day (出 嫁 ) . All brides also hope the day is most beautiful lady on that day, but I not pretty at all very sad and regret on that day why I no reject the hair style and really no time to change it. The make up and hair style take long hours to finish and they are very rushing time also. All my friends says even my hubby and family also says I’m look like “傻婆 “. Oh I really want to cry but really no time to change , after play with bridegroom and brothers take photo with family and friends then rushing to Ipoh (my hubby hometown). In car I really feel sad and scared when reach at Ipoh, how their family looks at me oh no I really scared.

But at the end also reach and yet what I worried is right because all people in behind laugh at this bride! I’m so sad why all brides is pretty but I look ugly feel want to get in a hole. And after give tea to their family (so many relationship also) I feel tired and tired but really relax a bit faster change and wash and wait till dinner makeup at Ipoh.

Finally time is reach till night I go for dinner make up and tell the people please make me look pretty a bit. Finally done and looks ok, then go to attend dinner.

At Ipoh dinner really a lot people compare to PJ and yet all we also dun know so just sit and smile with them, and he play with his friends all sing karaoke really happy with them cause all very active sing and play. On the time I just feel want faster finish this dinner I want go back and sleep only.(I cannot sleep well since I promise to married to my hubby).

Finally really finally we finish the dinner but my hubby’s father too happy ask us go for karaoke and drink,.oh my god we have to go and drink and sing , I also forgot until what time as I know I really tired only.

This is my experience and yet no so detail at all but is really a memories in my life just think back really upset to the hair style when (出 嫁 ) only. But thing and time already over so not to think much, and I know your as friends also will says that.

So hope all friends who getting married must choose a good and dun rushing same as me will regret after that, wish all happy forever too.

Anywhere here I also take a opportunity to says thanks to all my friends really help me a lot in my wedding especially May Fun she really help me a lot but please dun take in heart what I wrote here ok? Already over just a liter feeling in my heart only. Thank you so much friends

Now of this just because i feel myself and all my friends says i so fat after i change to this job,.haiz what to do so happy and free life in this company

After all says i so fat and call me "Piggy Tan" and all my nice dress cannot wear, now i feel myself looks like 40yrs auntie so i must hardworking do exercise...

Everyday after work i will go back exercise around 1/2hr only (cause i feel very tired) Please give me sometimes i will very hardworking do more but really tired lah .Then saturday promise with my friend go jogging.woh so nice jogging in morning at nice garden..after one time jogging at there i really confirm every weekend i can go to jogging in morning and yet this saturday i go jogging with my hubby woh really happy and feel relax too.

I give myself 3 to 4 months no even exercise and must reduce my food then only i can reduce my weight..yeah gambateh i can do it !

My director feel disappointed to me !! I know he must feel disappointed cause this is 2ND time(2 month) i sent a wrong balance sheet report to him.. I always careless no checking properly the final amount and i already sent the report to him, maybe i too confident to myself .I know even he says : is OK! " but my feeling no good anymore cause i cannot accept myself do wrongly in twice !! even my assistant do wrong 2 or 3 times i also feel disappointed to her, but now myself ?? i really cannot forgive myself ...should i not so confident?? too confident also make myself do wrong ! this is a big problem for me !!! I really cannot accept this thing happen to myself !!

Just is because i too free sit at office ? no more busy as my previous company i though myself can do better compare my ex-company so busy non stop working?? actually i feel tired to sit here cause i have due with custom (this is more hate job cause government really make me angry to them) due with custom i have to wait and wait , waiting is a very tired job for me, and yet no people guide me, i have to learn myself , asking friends . And communication, stubborn people here make me feel tired & hard to work at here even they treat me no bad and i happy too cause more of the time i becomes relax i gain my health but i feel i loss my thinking !

What should i do? i must be careful !! so friends when work must be careful ! dun too rush !! dun too confident??

This the 1st word my ex- colleague ask when saw me !!!" WAH WHY U SO FAT ?"HOW MANY KID U HAVE ?? And shown this face to me !!:( , the time i really wish have one hole let me go in !!
I also no wish so fat, but work at here really sit and face to computer only ! and yet always follow my hubby eat dinner at 10pm++ how to no fat at all !!!
Now of this try do exercises everyday and no eat with him at 10pm anymore but i still fat ah, get fat easy get slim??? very very slow !! already try no eat so much
Very very sad to me !! why why i look so fat like people already have 5 children!!

wahhhh wahhhh !!! i must slim back i must get lost at lease 6 kg !!! yes gambateh i know i can !!!! yes i must can today start eat less and do more more exercise !!

Now share my happy day..

On 7 of Oct 2006 which is my big day and my darling purposely take leave to cerebrate my birthday ; so happy he do that! hehehe

Birthday eve he already give me a surprise sent my favourite flower to my office and buy a cake put in fridge (use his lunch time to do all that thing) so sweet for me !!

Then next day which is 071006 on 0900 we go out for our bread-fast and we go to Low Yat Plaza at 1100am for our karaoke we have enjoy sing but only 2 hrs we can spend that cause no more place ,we book too late but still have fun there..

1300 we go to join 8TV fun fair ..wah so many host i know them and i likes a small child very happy and faster take photo with them..and of course play game with them under very hot sun , so pity to my darling cause he very hot and still need to take photo and care for me hehehehe

But i still like a kid Q up and play game and the people becomes many at 14:00pm until we wait so long, funny is we need to guess who is the man inside the photo, i guess so many times at finally i get and ask my darling to tell the answer to the host ...hahhaa we won and i get a RM100++ hand beg..wohhh i very happy and like a small kid jump at there.. that the host also happy finally got people get the branded beg!!hehehe i be the 1st winner on that time oh..so Lucky !

Then after play play at there feel so tired and hot we go to have a drink 1st then after that 15:10pm we go to the fair again cause have a small Malaysian singer concert and 10 top super model even a lot i also dun know who are them but i still enjoy the concert..

On 20:40pm Tawaness singer David Tao reach there, but he no sing any song and just stay for around 15min, very disappointed after he go no more fun for me cause every game i also play no more fun

So we go take our tea time then we walk to Times Square shopping shopping ( but nothing to buy)..till 21:30pm then only take our dinner go back home around 23:05pm still got time to make a wish and cut the cake :)

Wohhh so happy even i very very tired but is a really enjoy i can forget everything just relax and happy cerebrate with my lovely hubby..Thank You Hubby !! I love you:)

Today though is a free day can do finish my accounting report then doing my Blog cause since saturday i have something happies to share with friends....

But my colleague who is HR becomes very very blur girl, i dun know how she work as HR since i also not so experience for that but is a very simply thing also cannot understand and today Monday Bank will a lot people, ask me sent her paid for the EPF & SOCSO thing (she no driving to office now wanna save cost!) and yet last week so free and have driver also dun want to go to bank waiting until today nobody only ask me go !!

Then after finish, bank call up says the cheque got problem then she need to go again....but she have to redo again the slip but i wait her issued a slip till 1/2hr !! until go to bank 4pm !! bank already close !!... angry she always Last minute work, and last week already have warning by my manager dun do that again, and yet wanna to waste cost and time to go the same place in 2 days... check the paper then found out problem cannot do !!! I have to ask many times and remind her still she like that, and yet wanna to scold or says people do wrong for her

Haiiiiiiiiii see today i cannot share my feeling to friends and dun know wed i still can remember and mood to share or not

Today really angry and feel their people really stubborn !! So easy thing dun want to listen only see now and no see in future !! Ask me go and check the pricing for the van and rental ++++ after get says get another is more cheaper for current but not for future !! Tell him the problem says never mind but i know if we choose the one , they must complain much and yet we must look out also the Road tax and the Insurance and the Maintenance but they don't want listen to me !!!

Another HR colleague , also give me problem and yet says free nothing to do but actually the more importing also haven do some more need me to remind her then only says lazy to do !!!!! And a lot the filling system messy like... rubbish no follow A to Z anywhere also can put !!

Really hope so i can stay here and understand what they want !!! Hope tomorow another happy day

What should i write?? I also don't know?? just feel very boring, everyday looking for something to do and yet the production still in waiting and waiting and some more they like last minute ask us do something we don't know everything and no any information and tell us is URGENT !!

Sometimes i really don't know until when i can stay here? cause I always busy before i join this company, everywhere i work also busy until no time drinks & eat but now i can drink can eat till my weight grow up in 5 months !

A lot friends tell me maybe is the time for me to rest since last few year i work so hard no time rest, my health also no good but i really feel like i becomes a lazy woman, lazy to think, lazy to work !

Until i need to buy magazine to read , check email, online until i also think what else to do for tomorrow??? how to use my times?? very funny !!

Tell me how ? really feel sleepy sit in this room ! Now working here i have my own room, own computer no need to share PC with others like my ex-company, i can listen radio on line what ever i happy no body will disturb me, i should happy at all but i more like got work for me to do rather than i sit and see on screen everyday, if not i really feel tired !! now of this I can go back home sharp, watch TV and exercise compare at my ex-company i never go home early i have no time watch TV...... i should relax and happy ! but why??? i start complain ?? i think all my friends will scold me thinking like that .

Hope so our production can start faster god please help us!!........

I also don't know what i doing now? sometime busy sometime too free (actually is more free then work) !!! still waiting waiting for the approval from custom, see everybody also very boring at office !! how come our boss so rich, can give so much money every month without any income???

I have a part time at my ex-company cause no accounts girl in office these why ask me to work for them as part timer to settle the accounts every month... this week 30/9/06 will be my last day at there...hohoho i'm so happy cause no need to go back and see their work and see the black face!!! But just pitty my ex-colleague she will very tired,now the accounts manager also cannot stand the work in there and resign next middle of the month will be last day and yet still haven employ any new accounts there, the boss want to save cost until the petty cash & accounts will past to others company(their sister co) accounts girl to do and all other's customers and suppliers thing ask my liter ex-colleague girl to do!! but no OT for her!! I so surprise why he want to make those decision since so many staff left from there also same reason, why he still no understand!! But all is no my problem, what i can teach and handover already finish, is time for me to out from the company (even i still miss them) and myself really sad to see all my previous thing i done they still cannot up to date and yet is in wrong way for the information even the accountant also complain them, but the black face boss still wanna scold to him and yet don't know how to care of all staff !!! the way he use no suitable for his staff !!!

Now what i worry is how to use my Saturday cause i no need work at there!! shopping?? i'm lazy shopping just once in a while ok ! so How i can get extra money? i think is better find a part time job !

Another day to waiting ??? wait for permission for start production !!!Think back join this company almost 5 months. what i have do , learn and get ??? I think is relax, Indonesia language , new accounts system which is more better then what i use at my ex-company and get more fat !! why i getting more fat cause i no more worry , too relax too free so boring then only eat and sit so why i getting More fat.But one thing i can chatting with friends and learn a lot bout internet and downloading ......actually really have a lot to learn but the production can't start , all because our government problem make our company cannot start to have production since our manager have apply the license and those document which must apply for almost 1 year !!!! but still alot problem .We paid so much but still saying this and that so angry to listern those all reason !!! Very dispointedto hear all that.

We all feel very very boring and maybe last time i really very busy for work at my ex-company no even can go back sharp some more need to work OT without any OT charges and yet need to take back unfinished work to home. Now cannot stand the free office life , think back work at ex-company so hard but what i get???

Yes, i get new friends but lost old friends , i get knowledge but i also lost good health and time with family..these why i have to resign , resign for hope to get back health and times and hope so can get my happy share with everybody !

Hope so all my friends will happy as like me , relax and not to work too hard until forget our health and family..relationship is important even we have a very good job and money..money cannot buy health cannot buy family....

BE HAPPY AND HEALTH

This few days very sad! cause somebody make me disappointed.

I dun know what is friendship? we do care and good do them but they no appreciate to us still saying we no good to then and says disappointed and sad to me!! make me so sad!! I cry for it cause for me wanna make a friendship in good condition is very hard and appreciated to all my friends but this time i really sad! this is not the first time i have this feeling but sometime we still dun not how to upgrade our self!

Really think that should we too good and kind to people or not!!

Friend & friends ? ? ? what is so diffirecult to me?

Dun know what to write but just some of my feeling..now of this no mood in office since we know that our company to be close down even my boss still ask me to think positive but we know the charges is very low.

I already search job and apply job but still have no news ,i know find job is difficult and yet want to find a good job more hard,but at lease i really try and hope so have good news to me soon,cause as i know my boss won't pay us any compensation and only will give us one month notice, if one month later i still cannot found any job i will die .

But what to do really scare to look for new job, scared another pirates to in. .

God please help me..i want a good company to work.........